I have done first draft. I want you to make it richer and longer words. I will give you some instruction and evulation criterias. Please make it better than mine and edit well.
Here are some suggestions to enhance it further:
Character Development: Provide more details about your father’s role in the story and your relationship with him. This could add more depth to the narrative and explain why the gift of the bird was so significant.
Descriptive Language: While your descriptions are vivid, adding more sensory details can make the story even more immersive. Describe the bird’s appearance, the sounds it made, and the environment you shared.
Dialogue: Including dialogue can bring characters to life and add emotional weight to key moments. Conversations with your father or even imagined dialogues with the bird could enrich the story.
Internal Reflection: You touch on your feelings of guilt and sorrow, but delving deeper into your internal struggles and reflections can make the emotional impact stronger. How did this event shape your views on life, death, and responsibility?
Resolution: The ending is poignant, but clarifying how you found solace or what lessons you learned can provide a more satisfying resolution. You hint at redemption and the enduring power of love, but these themes could be more explicitly explored.
Evaluation Criteria
The story is complete and near 1,000 words in length. It contains an effective beginning that hooks a reader and builds meaning throughout the story to a fitting climax. The sequence of the story is clear and effective.
The story effectively utilizes the narrative techniques studied in class (sensory detail, dialogue, internal thoughts) to created desired effect (evoked emotion from the reader). The use and amount of techniques applied is appropriate for the genre and story.
The story contains at least one scene where sustained focus and detail provide the reader a sense of being a witness to the story. The length of the scene(s) is effective in the context of the story as a whole.
The story shows awareness and consideration of important subgenre conventions if applicable (for example romance, fantasy or adventure fiction; travel, humor, or growing up dysfunctional memoir)*there are many others
The story shows some awareness and consideration of an audience and how they are likely to interpret the story. The story produces a desired effect likely to be appreciated by the audience.
The story is largely free of sentence-level errors and those errors that exist do not significantly hinder understanding.
Last Completed Projects
| topic title | academic level | Writer | delivered |
|---|